7 Students, 2 Couples, and 1 Very Bad Prank
by introducing-prologue
Summary: Fred and George want to pull the biggest Hogwarts prank they ever have. But when thier plan takes a nasty, naughty, turn, it's up to the twins to set the record straight.
1. Chapter 1

Fred and George, the mischievous twins with an unquenchable thirst for havoc, were at it again. Hogwarts had a treat in store, despite the many lines that this scheme would cross. This plan was a gem, the cream of the crop. The two brothers had carefully drawn the blue prints, painstakingly marked their victims, and slowly bided their time for a chance to unleash their greatest prank yet. But tonight was the night. They were going to draw, they were going to gamble, and if they played their cards right, they were going to take the house.

Halloween, October 31st was supposedly the night when the crafty spirits come to play tricks on unsuspecting folk. Sprits were not a thing of fantasy in the wizarding world; ghosts were common among humans. Though certain Halloween spirits were said to come on one night of the year, and if not shooed away, they would stay among humans.

Fred and George were relying on that single myth for their plot to unfold.

Early back in the year, they had looked up the Halloween spirits in the library to see how this could play into their idea.

"Huh," said George, flipping through The Almanac of Ghosts and Goblins,

"We have a few choices,"

Fred nodded, whipping out a quill and parchment.

"There's an Illion, a spirit that takes the form of a cat and haunts rafters, who often scares young children,"

"We could string Ms. Norris from the ceiling and hang her above the first years,"

George sniggered.

"No," he said, "We need something bigger. There are Cassalons; they steal food and hide it in odd places,"

"We could raid the kitchens and put the feast in Umbridges' office,"

George shook his head.

"Bigger,"

Fred opened his notes up.

"Well, I like the idea of Angelites. They seduce and humiliate beyond words. We could use the Polyjuice potion and take hairs of a few hot students,"

"How long would it last?"

"Few hours. We could take it numerous times,"

"Hmm…maybe," said George, stroking an invisible goatee.

After days of pondering, Fred and George had decided they would each be twin Angelites for the evening.

Next step was the victims.

"Snape!" cried George, as the two sat in their dorm, a few weeks before Halloween.

Fred shuddered.

"I refuse to bring myself to that level. I myself would prefer to hold onto my pride until I get out of Hogwarts. And no teachers! They probably have a spell to destroy the Polyjuice potion, or get rid of an actual angelite,"

"You can't get rid of an angelite using magic, I checked. Only brute force would work," said George.

"Excellent, that means almost nothing can go wrong,"

"Oh, I have it! You know Hermione and Ron are hooking up?" said George.

Fred grinned.

"Go on,"

"Wellllll…you know how over protective Hermione is and you know Ron loves any girl like a fat kid loves cakes…And Harry's been snogging Ginny of months, you know that,"

"I'd feel odd seducing my own brother and his best friend," said Fred, "And you now Hermione and Ginny would be fuming,"

"Oh, don't worry, we'd tell them it was us afterwards,"

"Tempting…" said Fred, "What about Malfoy and his goons? I'd like to fuck with them too. We could just bewitch Crabbe and Goyle, give THEM the potion, and watch them make fools of themselves,"

"I think I like that better than be kissing my own brother, honestly, no matter how hilarious it would be," said George.

"So, we'll have to screw around with the Polyjuice potion to have it last longer so the two won't have to take it again," said Fred.

"And, we'll have to get them to do what we want without using the Imperius Curse," said George

"Yes, and outfits—"

"YES."

"And lure Malfoy away,"

"Excellent,"

"And seduce Malfoy too?"

"You're rotten to the core,"

"Just as black-hearted as you," said Fred.

"Hogwarts is getting a little Halloween surprise!" said George.

The two chuckled.

"Excellent," they said together.


	2. Chapter 2

"We have to remember at 6:30 is when the feast starts. It ends at 7:15. Students sleep at 10:15. That gives us three hours," said Fred, leaning against the canopy post as he lounged on his bed. George was lying down on the bed next to him, with a folder open on his lap, revealing parchment with notes scribbled furiously down. George took out a single paper delicately.

"At exactly 7:16, you will leave the great hall _fast_. I will have already left. Meet me at the second floor boys bathroom. You read me?"

Fred nodded.

George continued: "I will have the potion brewed by then. We each take a vial and find Crabbe and Goyle—"

"What about Malfoy?"

George grinned.

"I overheard Malfoy talking with Pansy about the Halloween feast. They'll be too busy after the feast to pay attention to dumb and dumber,"

Fred's eyebrow rose.

"Bad boy Malfoy...continue,"

"We find Crabbe and Goyle, we nab 'em, and we screw around using a spell I found in the restricted section that's _like _the Imperius curse. And then we give them a few drops of the potion. The potion will last for exactly three hours. We'll send Crabbe out to find Ron and Goyle to Harry,"

"And how exactly will that work? How do we know they'll be alone?"

George chuckled.

"Taken care of. Five minutes _before_ the feast, two owls will arrive in turn to the boys, telling them when and where they should be _after_ the feast. Trust me, they'll go with what I've written on those notes,"

"I love the way you think," said Fred.

"That's all I got," said George, closing his notebook.

"Now. How to get Hermione and Ginny to find them and unleash all hell,"

"I dunno," said George, "I spent hours on the actual timing and got caught up,"

"No worries," said Fred, "I've got an idea. They'll be wondering where their boys are, right?"

"Right," said George.

"Why don't we just tell them?"

"Clever, you dirty, rotten, boy," said George, rubbing his hands together.

"And while you slaved away at the details, I sketched a few ideas for, _ahem,_ _outfits_, for our lovely sizzling pair,"

"Dirty and rotten. I should spank you," laughed George.

Fred whipped out a dirty, folded page from his robes. George took a quick look. There were corsets and fishnets, high heels and short skirts, and some clothing that was too shameful for even the sleaziest of porn stars. George nodded with satisfaction.

"I particularly like _this _one," said George, pointing to a mannequin in a sleek, black ball gown, cropped at the thighs and cut at the bosom to show cleavage, "And this one," George pointed to a mannequin wearing just a frilly red bra and knickers.

"Odd. I fancy those too. Fancied them so much, I went out and ordered them on a whim from a catalog I snagged from Lavender's bag," said Fred, crossing his arms triumphantly.

"Not Lavender,"

"The very one,"

"Naughty girl,"


	3. Chapter 3

"Say I'm sick," said George.

Fred nodded.

Fred and George, now having their version of a pep talk in the boys bathroom, were ready to go. The tampered Polyjuice potion was brewed. George was planning to skip the feast and wait in the bathroom for Fred.

"I'll tell them you ate something foul if they ask,"

"Just make sure no students go into this bathroom until then,"

"Will do,"

George crossed his arms and smiled.

"It'll go fine, I—"

The bathroom door was suddenly flung open, as Marcus Flint, captain of Slytherin's quidditch team, and a young, beautiful student with short, wavy blonde hair came dashing in, arm and arm. The girl was stunningly pretty. She had a very classic smirk, almond shaped eyes that were a bright blue. Her skin was toned and pale, her waist thin and supple and her legs long and poised underneath her gray uniform skirt. Fred and George quickly jumped in the nearest stall on the nearest toilet, as the other pair found the stall next to them. She giggled as Marcus shut the door, and, as Fred could tell from the noise, pushed her against it. George stood deathly still next to Fred, barely breathing, as they listened carefully. Fred and George could tell what the couple was doing in the stall from the obvious laughs and noises and the stall shaking slightly at times.

"Who is she!" whispered Fred, pushing his hands against the walls of the stall to prevent himself from stumbling of the toilet seat. George grasped Fred tightly, wobbling from the toilet seat as well.

"What's she doing with _him_?"

Marcus Flint was not known for his looks or wit. It was beyond the twins how this sexy, cute, and stunning girl who they had never before seen was fooling around with Slytherin's dull quidditch captain.

After a few minutes when the sounds had quieted, they heard the girl and Marcus talking.

"Mmm, you taste good, sweetness,"

The twins could tell that was the girl talking. She had a creamy, clear voice with a crisp accent.

Marcus chuckled.

"You're hot, you know that?" said Marcus.

The girl laughed.

"Oh, you are too, pumpkin,"

The couple laughed. More sounds. After a while…

"Listen, cutie-pie, but I'm afraid playtime's over,"

"What?" asked Fred and George and Marcus all at the same time.

"Did you hear something, sugar?—hey, wait, what are you doin—" Marcus tried to say, but his voice was smothered by something that sounded like a rough kiss. Marcus chuckled

"Ohh, so you wanna keep on goin—"

"_I said, playtime's over,_" There was a thump, and it sounded like Marcus had fallen. The stall door was slammed open as the girl walked out and chuckled. Fred and George didn't move for minutes. They didn't hear anything from Marcus' stall. Finally, they proceeded out and looked in the stall next to them. They both gasped.

Marcus was sprawled on the floor in only his bright green boxers, lipstick marks over his cheeks and mouth, his eyes shut, and mouth open slightly.

Fred bent over him and checked his pulse.

"He's breathing, just unconscious,"

"That's the work of a professional, taking his clothes and running,"

Softly, Marcus's eyelids flickered. They opened all the way, as he looked around.

"That bitch!" he shouted abruptly, jumping up with the strength of twenty men. He dashed after the girl, (Fred and George stood at the door frame, flabbergasted and terribly amused), and when he had run up the stairs, he finally realized her was only in his underwear and the lipstick marks weren't come off. Marcus stood in the middle of the stairs, frozen, while some kids who saw him started to laugh.

Marcus had a change of heart. He this time ran down the stairs, around the corridor, down one more flight of stairs, and, crying somewhat, and entered the dungeons, his face a searing engine red.

Fred and George stared.

Just stared.

And then cracked up.

They were on the floor howling and rolling around until tears came out of their eyes.

"That," chuckled George, wiping away a teardrop, "Was the most precious emotional eruption I have ever seen!"

"Marcus Flint, of all people?" said Fred, holding his stomach from laughing cramps.

"I know! That's what makes it so perfect!"

"George," said Fred, still laughing, "I'm afraid, I--," he laughed again, "Feast," Fred said, shrugging.

George nodded and Fred left, chuckling all the way to the great hall.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were resting in the common room, when two school owls came through the window. They had studied for three essays in the upcoming week, plus an extra quiz Snape had assigned. Harry went to detention the night before with Professor McGonagall, organizing student records and updating punishment files. He hadn't gotten much sleep, so he was exhausted now. Then the owls came, the dark brown one to Ron, and the soft cream colored one to Harry. The owls each carried two pieces of crimson parchment.

"What's this?" asked Harry, ripping the cord off his package while Ron did the same.

"Dunno," said Ron faintly. The two boys opened the first note, as they both said in curvy gold letters:

"Read this next message in private, without the company of your friends, enemies or lovers. Especially lovers. Do not show _this_ note to your two friends across from you. Now, go find somewhere private, and keep the messages to yourself."

Harry wordlessly gazed at Ron as he stared back.

"One second, Hermione," said Ron, getting up and kissing her on the cheek.

The two boys walked in different directions in the room.

"What does it say?" asked Hermione, but she wasn't answered.

On Harry's note, it read:

Harry, Harry. I'm so glad you got my letter. My name is unimportant. I want to you to meet me after the Halloween feast in a small room in the North Tower. Be quiet now, I don't want the teachers to hear us. I will meet you there after you have arrived. Don't fret if I'm late—I've got a fun little surprise for you, and likewise for your friend reading the other letter. But my sister will entertain him. Oh, Harry! We are going to have lots of fun. Now, I'm sure you'll want to know what I look like so you know it's me, right? Well, enclosed in an envelope in this package are a few trinkets that you can associate with me! I'll see you later, handsome!

Harry opened the envelope. Inside, was a black garter, a lipstick tube with dark red lipstick, and a leaflet advertising British prostitutes. His eyes went as round as saucers at the leaflet. The words from the first note echoed back to him. _Especially not lovers._

On Ron's note, it read:

Ron, dearest! Aren't you lucky? I want to play with you after the feast I'll tell you my name when I see you. I want you, lucky you, to meet me in a small room near the dungeons with a copper door. You'll see it. We're going to have fun, Ron. Want to know what I'm like? Open a small envelope under this note! I'll see you later, you lucky boy. 

Ron opened a small envelope and took out what was inside. His ears turned bright red and he grinned.

"Hello?" shouted Hermione. The two boys looked up. "Did you hear me? We have to go the feast!"

Ron and Harry stuffed the papers and objects in their pockets and shuffled after Hermione.

George was still laughing by the time he was at his seat for the feast. The great hall was decorated to Halloween theme. There were bats nestling on the rafters, and the orange and black streamers were magically floating across the whole room. There were pumpkins filled with candy on every table. George gazed around the great hall triumphantly. Marcus Flint was sitting grimly at his table next to Malfoy, barely eating anything. There were still lipstick marks on his cheeks. George found Harry and Ron sitting silent next to Ginny and Hermione. George grinned. The two boys had small smiles on their faces, like they were keeping a secret and didn't want to tell.

George sat back casually on his chair. _This will be beautiful. _

"Where is Fred?" asked Hermione as she reached for a roasted drumstick.

"Yeah, I didn't see him anywhere," said Ginny through a mouthful of potato.

"He's not feeling to good," said George, and he left it at that.

There were laughs all around. Food was eaten and desserts were gobbled. Jokes were told and the night was high.

"Listen," said George when custard pies were being grabbed from a new plate, "I really have to go. I want to check on Fred, I'm worried about him,"

The girls nodded and Hermione smacked Ron and he nodded too.

George got up and pushed is chair in and left, striding out the Great hall proudly and up the stairs.

He entered the bathroom to George's concerned face.

"I wondered when you were going to get here,"

"I was having a good time,"

"Did you bring any food for me?"

"Yeah, I snagged a drumstick, bread and a custard pie,"

Fred gave the food to George as the sat down at a small frothing cauldron. George took out two small vials and dipped them in the cauldron.

Fred beamed.

"How'd you get the hairs, and who were they from?" he asked, pocketing a vial.

"I took three hairs. One from Lavender Brown, one from Blaise Zabani, and one from, you aren't going to believe this, Fleur Declour,"

"Fleur?" asked Fred, astounded, "How?"

"Ron kept some after the second task when she kissed him. He's had it for a while,"

"Wow. That boy's obsessed," said Fred.

"Not really. He kept it, yeah, but never actually used it for anything. I think he just put it away,"

"Or, --"

"Let's not cross that line," said George sharply. "Right. The feast will be over in a few minutes. Take this," George handed Fred a dark spray bottle with a black nozzle, "Hold your breath and spray this in their mouths. They'll be down in seconds,"

"What is this?" asked Fred, poking the nozzle.

"Bought it Zonko's exclusive members catalog. It knocks someone out pretty much," said George, putting the bottle in his robes, "You said a while ago you had a spell for Crabbe and Goyle, right?" asked George.

Fred nodded.

"It's Tempero Adstringo, Torpeo Pareo,"

"Excellent," said George.

"Let's away,"

"Fantastic,"

"Can't wait,"

"Rather,"

"Quite right,"

"Ah, foiled again!"

The twins laughed and left the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Note from the author: "dialogue from chapter 4"

"Rather,"

"Quite right,"

"Ah, foiled again!"

Sorry about that, that's just a camp joke. So pay no attention to that last part in the chapter 4.

My friends(and others) have been reading ahead and have "informed" me that, sadly, the twins aren't as perverted as I portray them.

Well, sweeties, I happen to know that

this is a fanfiction. I can portray them in anyway my bad, bad mind chooses.

b), please care to check on page 119 of the first book when the twins CATCALL Lavender Brown.

That is all.

(and I do not own Harry Potter, and if I did, I'd be a happy girl. And I swear, I am the first fanfiction author on the face of the world to give Crabbe and Goyle dialogue. Just so you know.)

Crabbe and Goyle was not the smartest bunch in the lot. They didn't have a sense of direction, they weren't achieving much in class, and they probably couldn't tell the difference from a werewolf and a normal wolf. With Malfoy, they had a purpose: pummel anyone who threatens him and pummel anyone who threatens Slytherin. But without Malfoy, they were just dimwitted clones with a lot of muscle. Nabbing the two brutes was the easiest thing the twins had ever tried.

After the feast, Crabbe and Goyle were strolling down the corridor, in their arms sweets and cakes from the feast.

"I don' unda-stand why, uh, Malfoy and Pansy had to ditch us, you know?" said Crabbe, as Goyle nodded.

"Ya know, Crabbe, Malfoy's been actin' a bit odd. He's always different 'round that Pansy girl,"

"Yeah, uh, what's the word, he's, er…mosmer…marsmor…mesmer…"

"Mesernmized?" said Goyle?

"Nah, I think it's _mesmerized_, uh…yeah, mesmerized!"

"What does _that_ mean, Crabbe?" asked Goyle, one of his furry eyebrows raised.

"Dunno. McGonagall used it in class," said Crabbe, taking a bite out of a donut, "'His' is goo'!" Crabbe said through a mouthful.

"What?" asked Goyle.

"I sa', his is goo'!"

"What!"

"Gole, clen yo' ees' ou'! I _sa'_, his is goo!"

"He _said,_ Goyle, 'this is good.'" said a voice suddenly, from behind.

"And, might I add, that your friend is right for the first time," said another.

"This is _very _good," the voices said simultaneously.

"Wha' ar' oo' doin' 'ear?" said Crabbe, frowning. Goyle gaped.

The tall, red headed and freckled twins grinned. The Fred and George had followed Crabbe and Goyle after the feast down the hallway in the shadows from a certain someone's invisibility cloak. Now, they stood before Crabbe and Goyle, with the spray cans in their hands, and an eager glint in their eyes.

"Wha' ar' 'ose?" asked Crabbe, eyeing the cans suspiciously. Goyle gaped.

"These, my fine, er, _gentlemen_, are treats," said Fred, "Treats,"

At treats, George sniggered.

"What's so funny?" asked Crabbe, finally swallowing. Goyle gaped.

"My dear, strapping young men, do you like treats?" said George, shaking his can violently as Fred did the same. Goyle came back to reality and nodded eagerly, then stopped rather abruptly, one eyebrow cocked.

"Not from _you_,"

"Oh, then we have a small problem then, don't we, brother?" said Fred.

"It would appear,"

"Here's a compromise, my clever young fellow. LOOK UP!" he shouted, as Crabbe and Goyle, panicked and snapped their heads up, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, there's nothing—" started Goyle, when Fred and George held their breath and pushed the nozzle with their finger. A purple substance came fizzing out of the can, and the goons dropped to the ground like stones.

"Ginny, have you seen Ron anywhere? He ran out of the great hall with Harry when the feast ended and I haven't seen them since!" Hermione sat, troubled, in the common room next to a roaring fire as Ginny nodded and frowned.

"I haven't seen Harry either. Hermione, I'm stumped. Harry and Ron always tell you where they're going,"

"I know!" said Hermione, "That's why I'm confused. We've always had this bond, this trust, that we tell each other everything. I mean, Harry and Ron both received letters this afternoon that didn't even share with each other,"

"Letters?" asked Ginny, pacing around the room. The fire crackled and spit embers. The flames danced wildly, casting shadows off the walls, and only allowing light for the two sofas that were placed in front of the fireplace.

"Letters. They just opened up the first envelope and dashed away from each other to read them in privacy, I suppose,"

"What did they say?" wondered Ginny aloud, staring at her shoes in fascination.

"I don't know. They just kept them to themselves—"

"_Hermione, what exactly did the letters look like?_" asked Ginny suddenly.

"I dunno. They were crimson, and kind of shiny—"

"Look at this,"

Hermione gazed at Ginny, and then at the deep red parchment in Ginny's hand. Hermione grinned.

"I stepped on it in the corner over there," said Ginny triumphantly.

"Somebody was too excited to put all his mail away," said Hermione, "So whose is it? Ron's or Harry's?"

"I dunno," said Ginny, fingering the parchment gingerly, "It's not addressed to anyone,"

Ginny sat down next to Hermione, and ripped open the envelope eagerly for both of them to see. Inside, was a message addressed to Ron.

"Typical," fussed Ginny, "For my brother to be leaving his stuff around," 

They looked at the gold, curvy writing carefully as Ginny read it aloud:

"Ron, dearest! Aren't you lucky?—"

"Ron _dearest_?" screeched Hermione. Ginny continued: "I want to play with you after the feast I'll tell you my name when I see you. I want you, lucky you, to meet me in a small room near the dungeons with a copper door. You'll see it. We're going to have fun, Ron. Want to know what I'm like? Open a small envelope under this note! I'll see you later, you lucky boy,"

Hermione was silent, shaking with anger.

"I didn't find any envelope," said Ginny quietly.  
"I cannot _believe_ the _bastard_,"

"You mean _bastards_," said Ginny, her eyebrow twitching, " Harry got a letter too,"

"I'm going to skin that boy _alive_," said Hermione, infuriated.

"I thought he was loyal!" shouted Ginny.

"I thought I could trust Ron,"

"Damnit!" they both shouted.


	6. Chapter 6

Fred and George had dragged Crabbe and Goyle into a small broom closet, and they sat now squished in the darkness with Crabbe and Goyle lying on top of them. Harry and Ron might be in the rooms by now, and they had no time to waste.

"Lumos," whispered Fred, as Goyles' eyes flickered from the sudden light.

"Fred, say the spell, quickly!" whispered George hoarsely, whimpering slightly from the weight of the two boys.

"Tempero Adstringo, Torpeo Pareo!"

Crabbe and Goyle began to glow softly and became weightless, floating slightly above Fred and George's legs.

"Ok," croaked George, "I want you to drink this," holding out two vials full of the tampered Polyjuice potion.

"How do you know the potion will work?" asked Fred, as Crabbe and Goyle descended on the twins' legs again, and opened their eyes softly, "I mean, it's different the real potion. We used more than a one hair and we used different ingredients,"

"We'll just have to hope," whispered George, as Crabbe and Goyle each took a vial out of Fred's hand and drunk slowly.

Ron and Harry stood in front of the Great Hall when some students started to head their dormitories. The feast had ended, and Ron and Harry were due.

"Listen mate, I'll see you later," said Ron, clapping Harry on the shoulder.

"Ron, what did your note say?"

Ron gazed at Harry.

"My note said not to tell you what the note said,"

"Mine said that too, Ron, but just to be safe…"

"Well, it said I'm meeting someone…nice, er, in a small room with a copper door near the dungeons,"

"The dungeons? I'll meet you there is anything goes wrong,"

The effect of the potion was immediate. The two boys began to change, rather, dramatically. Their hair started to grow longer, their waists began to thin, their legs grew longer and their eyes suddenly had longer, fuller lashes. Their chests…_grew_, while their hands became dainty and poised. Their skin softened and toned. They were indeed what the twins would call eye candy.

Fred grinned with satisfactions, while George felt a hardening on his part. Luckily for George in the dim light, Fred couldn't see the large bulge in his brother's pants.

Though in the light, the twins could see that Goyle had the features of a combined Lavender Brown and Fleur Declour, with crystal blue eyes and an ivory complexion. She now had long and thick brown hair, and her lips were plump and a soft pink. Crabbe became of a mix of both Fleur and Blaise Zabini. Her hair was a radiant shade of red, like Blaise's, and her eyes a darker blue than Goyle. Her complexion was pale and rosy with soft freckles, and her lips crimson and full.

Fred placed a hand on Goyle's cheek and kissed her softly on the mouth. Her face was still.

"Why, you could be a Weasley with those freckles!"

"But Fred, that would be incest!" said George, putting his arm around Crabbe's waist. Fred laughed.

"Your name will be Violet, and you will be playful and cute. I want you to maintain a sexy personality, right?"

Violet nodded, and smiled happily as if she was dead and someone had breathed life into her.

"That's it," said Fred quietly, and kissed Violet again.

"Fred. We have a plan," said George seriously through his grin.

"Oh come on, have some fun!" said Violet with a clear voice, as she placed a hand on Fred's chest.

"All right," said George. Crabbe was still frozen and silent, "You will be named Olivia, and you will be seductive, dangerous, and very bad," Olivia bit her lip and gazed at George longingly.

"That's what I'm talking about!" said George, as Olivia looked George's crotch, cocked an eyebrow, and smiled like the vixen she was.

Through the giggles and kisses, George and Fred lost track of time. They hadn't realized that meanwhile when they caressed Violet and Olivia, Ron and Harry were waiting impatiently. They wanted to meet these beautiful women, and they ended up waiting for too long.

The room near the dungeons was obviously an abandoned classroom, or maybe a closet of sometime. It was large enough to be a small classroom but small enough to be a large closet. Or perhaps an office? Ron sat in a cushioned chair in the dark. He didn't bring his wand, and there wasn't a window or a lamp. All Ron could do was sit and wait. A few more minutes, and Ron would leave.

Quietly, the door opened slightly and someone stepped in the room. Their face was masked by darkness. Ron was nervous, but prepared. His shirt was on the floor, and his pants were unbuttoned slightly. He jumped up as the door shut, and went to his visitor. Ron kissed whoever was there on the mouth, while slowly feeling his hands up and down the person's waist.

"Ron—!"said a voice, in a low whisper. Ron kissed the person's neck as his hands moved to the chest.

Ron stopped abruptly. He moved his hands around. The chest was flat.

Ron was suddenly very sick.

"I can tell how much you like me. On my _leg_, you git!"

"Harry!"

"No one came to me, so I went to find you,"

"_Harry!"_

"Yes, it's me,"

"_I don't believe…" _

If there was light in the room, Harry would see Ron's face, red as a beet.

"Ron, _who_ were you expecting to show up and what exactly were you thinking they were going to do!" asked Harry harshly.

"Well…the letter said, and…well, it was written, rather, seduct—"

Suddenly, the door which Ron was pushing Harry against was shoved open. Light flooded the room as Harry fell straight on top of Ron,( his pants zipper now fully down).

"I do _not _believe this!" said a shrill voice as Hermione and Ginny stepped into the room, "The letter was bad enough, but I would have _never _suspected _you _Harry!"

"Harry!" screamed Ginny, "You cheating—"

"No, this isn't---"

"My own _brother_!"

"And Ron, you left your damn letter in the common room!" screeched Hermione, taking the letter out of her robes and ripping it up.

"Please, Ginny—"

"_I don't want to hear a word from you!_"

"Hermione, you'll believe me!"

"Believe what, Ron! I see what's going on, it's pretty simple to understand!" Hermione pointed to Harry and Ron's position. Harry scrambled out from underneath. He grasped Ginny and hugged her.

"Please, Ginny, please, I—"

"Get off me!" she yelled, struggling against Harry's grip.

"None of us wrote that letter!" said Ron, getting up.

"Oh? Then you did?" said Hermione, crossing her arms. Harry and Ron were speechless.

"I see," said Hermione.

"Actually, we did," said two voices from behind. Ron and Harry stared, as Ginny and Hermione frowned.


	7. Chapter 7

Note: I was at work on a farm for a week and a few days, and I neglected the fic for a while (I was out of fuel. writers, I think you know what I mean). So slap me. Pin me down poke needles into my eyes and shave my skin off with a dull razor and feed it to the family gopher. Honestly, I don't care. But since I wish to avoid those certain calamities, I put in two new chapters. So that gopher will got to bed hungry tonight.

Two young girls, one with red and hair and the other brown, stepped into the room.

"I'm Violet!" said the one with red hair happily. Violet was wearing only red, lacy knickers.

"I'm called Olivia," said the one with brown hair, crossing her arms and smiling. She wore a sleek black cocktail dress. Harry and Ron's mouths dropped. Violet went up to Harry and kissed him full on the mouth. He looked stunned.

"Sorry we're late," said Violet, with a cute, goofy grin. Ginny started to cry and slapped Harry.

"Ginny—"

"Forget her," said Violet sternly, "You've got me," Harry stood, paralyzed, not knowing what to do.

"You must be Ron," said Olivia, walking towards him with one foot behind the other.

"You touch him, and I'll kill you," said Hermione. Olivia placed her hand on Ron's cheek.

"Afraid of a little competition? Is that because you know I'll win?" Olivia laughed. "We'd make a cute couple, wouldn't we, Ron?"

Ron looked down.

"Ron…"said Hermione, her eyes large like she was about to cry. Her lips trembled.

"Let's see," said Olivia, her finger on her chin, circling Hermione like a vulture.

"You're chubby. Your hair's a mess. Your teeth are odd and large. You're clumsy. You're not half as pretty as me,"

"Shut up," said Hermione quietly.

"And I can give Ron anything he wants," Olivia smiled at Ron.

"That's not true," said Hermione.  
"Oh yeah? And what could you give them that I can't?"

"You couldn't—"

"Nothing! See, Ron, I'm better than that girl over there. Besides, I _want _you, Ron,"

"You couldn't give him the devotion that I give him! Or the loyalty!"

"What loyalty?" laughed Olivia, as Violet tried to kiss Harry, who pushed her away, "You were ready to leave Ron when you saw me! You have no loyalty!"

"I have devotion! You would dump him for any other man in a second!" Tears started to form in Hermione's eyes.

"I've liked Ron for ages, ages, Olivia! Even if Ron chooses you, I'll still be here, waiting. _That, _Olivia, is the kind of devotion you could only dream of giving him!"

With that, Hermione stalked out of the room, tears streaming down her face.

"I hope you are happy," said Ron, softly, walking away.

"What?" said Olivia, "Ron, Ron, you're my lucky boy!"

"No, I _was_ your lucky boy. I'm going to bed,"

"Yeah, I'll see you," said Harry, following Ron.

"_What_?" said Violet and Olivia, simultaneously, and swiftly as they came, the two women fell to the ground.

A few hours later, the Violet and Olivia regained consciousness. Except, they were no longer Violet and Olivia. They weren't even Crabbe and Goyle; they were half and half, boys trapped in girls' bodies.

"My head…"whimpered Violet, or Goyle.

"What happened?" said Crabbe, rubbing his abdomen. "Oh my god, Goyle, I have boobs!"

"Whoa, I have them too!"

"I don't remember being a, er, girl…"

"Yeah, me neither,"

"But our voices are the same," said Crabbe, sitting up.

"Ew, we're girls with guy voices,"

"Yeah, ew,"

They had no idea what time it was, but they could tell it was night. Suddenly, footsteps rang from the end of the hall, as a shadow made its' way up to Crabbe and Goyle. It was Professor McGonagall, making her nightly rounds through corridors to see if any students were still up.

"Professor!" whispered Crabbe as she approached them.

"Help us!" said Goyle. Professor McGonagall frowned at the two girls.

"Who are you?" she said sternly, "And why are you up at this hour?"

"Professor, I'm Goyle!" said Goyle

"Yeah, and I'm Crabbe!" said Crabbe. After about ten full seconds, Professor McGonagall gasped.

"How did you get like this?" said the professor, frowning.

"I dunno…"

"Er, I remember the Weasley twins sprayed somethin' at us,"

"Right, some purple stuff,"

"The Weasley twins?" said Professor McGonagall, her lips pursed tightly.

"Yeah, those blokes," said Crabbe.

"How long ago?"  
"Dunno Professor, but—"

"Wait!" said Goyle, his eyes wide, "I remember somethin'! I remember being in that room!" said Goyle, pointing at a small room with a copper door.

"Yes, that's the old potions office. But why were you in there?"

"I remember…kissing…Harry…?"

"Goyle, I think I _do_ know what you are talking about," remarked Professor McGonagall, as Crabbe gaped.

"How!" asked Crabbe, "You're not Harry!"

"I'm not," admitted Professor McGonagall, "But earlier this evening, Harry and Ron came to me rambling about two mysterious women who confronted them and, well, I'll put it this way: The Weasley twins will be punished,"

"Oh, THAT'S good," said Goyle, standing up.

"Uh, Professor, what about, you know…" said Crabbe, pointing to his chest.

"Of course," said Professor McGonagall briskly, "Go to Madame Pomfrey. I will tell her what happened. Hopefully, you will be cured from this ailment,"

With that, the professor swiftly left to find Fred and George who were, at this very moment, celebrating their accomplishments in their dormitory, when Lee Jordan came running in.

Lee Jordan, best friend of the Weasley twins with an infamous pet tarantula, was sweating, his pupils the size of pinpricks. Lee, through some off occurrence, was wearing a leather contraption, which covered his half naked body, shaking body.


	8. Chapter 8

"Lee!" shouted George, throwing down his butterbeer and snapping the door shut.

"What are you wearing—"

"Just get it off me, mate, I'll explain later!"

"How…?" said Fred absently

"I don't know," said Lee, exasperated, "I really don't care. Scissors, a knife, anything, please!"

George grabbed the bottle opener he used to open the beers and sawed through the leather on his chest. The contraption fell off his shivering body and he stood before the twins completely naked.

"ClothespleaseFred," Lee mumbled as Fred threw him some boxers. He practically jumped in and struggled to put on his shirt lying on his bed.

"Now, tell us what happened, Lee,"

"A girl…" Lee said, catching his breath, "I was in the bathroom, you know, doing what guys do in the bathroom, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I thought it was a bloke, but instead I see this, this, this, _girl_! She had short blonde hair, and—"

"A blonde girl?" asked George, "Was she absolutely stunning?"

Lee nodded

"Yes, he saw her too,"

Lee's eyes widened.

"I'm so sorry,"

George gazed at Fred in confusion, as to say, _I'm anything _but_ sorry!_

Lee continued.

"So, she, um, she _grabs_ me, sort of spins me around, and we start to snog. She was wearing this _hot _leather outfit, and you know, she gives me, um, _that_," he said, pointing to the leather on the floor, "And, well,"

"Lee," said George, raising an eyebrow, "What _exactly _do you _do_ in that leather outfit?"

Lee coughed.

"The point is, after I'm in that, _leather thing_, I'm suddenly in the corridor with all these students and the girl is gone. Well, you can expect what the students reactions were,"

The twins nodded.

"I wonder what that girl is after," said Fred, aloud.

George gave Lee a butterbeer.

"Just take a rest, mate. It won't be as bad after you sleep,"

Lee took a swig and climbed into bed. The lights went off, and Fred and George decided to sleep too. But just as Fred's eyes began to finally close and George was already snoring, the door opened slightly and lights flickered on.

"Mmmm…shutemoffpleasethankyou…"mumbled Fred, grabbing his sheets and wrapping them around him. At this point, he somewhat resembled a cucoon.

"Mister Weasley, I suggest you get dressed and follow me. You and your brother," said a sharp voice.

"No…totired…mmm…."

"Mister Weasley, _now_," That voice was unmistakable.


End file.
